DAD, your words carry weight!

10 05 2012

As dads, if we understood the WEIGHT of our words, we would worry a little bit more about WHAT we said! 

I read something in Scripture a while back and made a note of it in my journal, then I saw something on Deadliest Catch the other night that brought it back to my mind. If you don’t know, Deadliest Catch is a show on Discovery that follows the crab fishing season of several  boats in Alaska.  I LOVE watching the show.  It’s fascinating to me.  But the other night, I saw something that broke my heart.

A captain of one of the boats employs one of his own sons as a crewman on the ship.  This son is still learning the ropes on the boat and his dad wanted to give him a shot at a new role.  “Throwing the hook”.  This is the art of tossing a hook out into the sea to snag the rope that’s attached to the crab pot and the bottom of the ocean, which then brings the pot up to the surface to haul in the catch.

Well, this young man (20 something) tried it several times but to no avail.  The dad, and captain of the ship came down to the deck and began to belittle his son in front of the crew.  Literally beating him down word by word.  The dad goes back up to his post and announces over the ships loudspeaker for everyone to hear “Your mom is going to be real proud when she sees this.  She always wanted a girl.”  The camera captured the look of the young man.  It was like his dad just took some of the life right out of him.  Who knows, he may never throw the hook the right way again, just based off what his dad said.

But this is something that jumped out at me in Scripture.  God used it to challenge me on the words I use with my children.  SPECIFICALLY my son!

In 1 Chronicles 28, David is handing off his throne to his son Solomon as well as the plans for building the Temple.  And 1 Chronicles 28:20 says this Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly.

Essentially he’s telling Solomon “I believe in you and SO DOES GOD.  HE will give you the power to do this.” David spoke SUCCESS into his son.  He spoke LIFE into him.  He spoke BELIEF into him.

Then when Solomon becomes King, 1 Chronicles 29:23 says this So Solomon took the throne of the Lord in place of his father, David, and he succeeded in everything, and all Israel obeyed him.

You’ll never convince me that Solomon’s success didn’t have anything to do with his dads words.  DAD, your words carry WEIGHT!  Speak LIFE, speak SUCCESS, speak BELIEF into your children.  IT MATTERS!

As dads, if we understood the WEIGHT of our words, we would worry a little bit more about WHAT we said! 

Worrying,

Jeff


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Categories : Discipleship, Element Church, kids, Parenting, Personal

What EVERY husband needs!

9 05 2012

And NO men…what you’re thinking of is NOT a need.  You will not die if you go without IT.  I’ve never read an obituary that cited THAT as a cause of death.  Air?  That’s a need!  Water?  Yep!  Food?  Pretty much!  THAT?  Sorry.  (typing this with a grin)

I could have titled this “What EVERY husband needs and what every wife should know!”

In 2 Samuel chapter 6, King David was returning home from a hard days work.  They had just completed the STRESSFUL task of moving the Ark of God into Jerusalem.  It was something David had wanted to do to honor the Lord and bless the people.  (The last time David tried this, someone died.  So this was a BIG deal!)

2 Samuel 6:20 says When David returned home to BLESS HIS OWN FAMILY, (Men, your role is to BLESS your family not BELITTLE them.  To BUILD them up not BEAT them down.  To BE a servant, not to BE served.  And you do this, REGARDLESS of what your wife or children do for you. Now back to the wives.) Michal, the daughter of Saul (and wife of David), came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!”

David’s intention when he came home was to BLESS his wife, but when he entered the door he was immediately met with a BITE!  He had just completed something he had long wanted to do, and all his wife could do was tear him down.  Point out his mistakes.  Share her disgust.  Do you think David fulfilled what he set out to do?  To bless his family?  Hard to bless when you’re beaten up.

Wives, you need to know this.  There is ONE person outside of God and our own dads that we want approval from and it’s YOU!  Even after 5 years of dating and 15 years of marriage, I’m STILL trying to impress my wife.  It’s HER word of encouragement I need.  It’s HER support I’m looking for.  It’s HER respect that matters.  And I PRAISE GOD EVERY DAY that God gave me a wife who GETS IT!

I understand there are husbands who aren’t earning respect.  I know there are men who abuse the role of husband.  But wives (as I heard another pastor say) inside of every man is a KING or a KID.  The one who you speak to, is the one who will come alive!  Speak to your man as a KING and he’ll be better able to live like it!

RESPECT him (we take pride in what we do).  ENCOURAGE him (we often feel inadequate in what we do).  SUPPORT him (we need you beside us in what we do).  (All of that and I didn’t even use the dreaded “S” word…SUBMIT.  I’ll leave that for another day)

There you have it.  My ramblings on “What every husband needs and every wife needs to know.”  Maybe it helped someone today!

Here’s to hoping,

Jeff


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Categories : Discipleship, Element Church, Family, Husbands, Personal, Wives

I’m Pregnant Again

2 05 2012

NO Sabrina and I are NOT expecting (knock on wood).  I love my kids but I think that would drive me into depression and despair.  HOWEVER, I am preaching again this Sunday and that is likened to being pregnant.  Let me explain…

I don’t remember where I read this or who said it, but it is so true.  They talked about how preaching is like delivering a baby then waking up the next day only to find out your pregnant again.  (Please moms, understand I am in NO WAY saying I understand the physical pain and intensity that you have faced.  I’ve watched my wife carry FOUR children, been in the delivery room FOUR times and I do NOT wish that upon ANYONE!)

When a preacher has delivered a sermon, at least this is the way it happens for me, it didn’t just pop into their mind that morning or even on Saturday night.  Many times the sermon that is given on Sunday has been growing for weeks, if not months at a time.  Maybe it was  “conceived” in a moment of inspiration as God revealed something to them in Scripture and AT the time it seemed insignificant, but OVER time it begins to grow and develop and mature into a burden on the heart of the preacher SO INTENSE they HAVE to get it out.

Preaching is a laborious process.  It is spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically taxing.  By the time Sunday morning rolls around a preacher has (or should have) prayed hard, studied hard, practiced hard and fallen in love with what they are about to deliver.  They anticipate the response of the people.  “Will they listen?”  “Will they understand?”  They seek the counsel of God.  “Is this YOUR word for THESE people?”  Then Sunday morning rolls around.  It’s the day they’ve been waiting for.  DELIVERY.

One, two, three, sometimes four or more times in a weekend the pastor pours his heart out to the people he leads and loves.  The words coming out of his mouth have been pent up in his heart, growing, maturing, developing into a full on 35 – 40 minute message (give or take).  Hours, days, weeks, months of anticipation building up to this ONE moment.  Then BAM.  It’s all over.  The people leave and the pastor again pleads for the Holy Spirit to do what we CANNOT do…connect those words to their hearts.  They go home, they crash in exhaustion, they wake up Monday morning…and they are PREGNANT.

As pastors we LIVE Jeremiah 20:9  But if I say I’ll never mention the LORD or speak in his name, his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones! I am worn out trying to hold it in! I can’t do it!

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m pregnant again, and I CAN’T WAIT TILL SUNDAY!

BRING IT,

Jeff


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Categories : Element Church, Leadership, Personal, Sermon Series

Perry Noble Leadership Intensive

26 04 2012

In the Fall of 2010, I was blessed to be a part of Perry Noble’s leadership coaching network for Senior Pastors.  It was a “leadership” changing time for me as a pastor/leader.  18 months later, I’m still going back to my notes and being challenged, refreshed and refined by what we learned those four months.  I’ve been able to pass on great leadership lessons to my team and church as well.

The coaching network I was in was four months long, and we met in Anderson, SC once a month for 1 day long coaching sessions.  Perry is getting ready to do a another coaching network, but this one is a three day intensive, AND it’s open to any leader in the church.  If you are a pastor/leader that is looking for a GREAT investment into your ministry and leadership I would highly encourage you to check this out.

You can find out all the information you need right HERE. Now, you might say “WHOA, that’s expensive.”

Proverbs 4:7 says Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

One of the ways we do that is by learning from those who are “going before”.  I can’t speak for anyone else, but it was worth every penny for me.  Check it out!


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Categories : Element Church, Leadership, Personal

Thank You!

11 04 2012

I’m still trying to take in all that happened this past weekend, and while I’m doing that, I need to say “Thank you!”  Usually each week I write a handwritten note to a volunteer from Element Church, and I did that again this week, but I also need to thank EVERYONE who made this past weekend possible and that would be a LOT of stinkin’ thank you notes. So here goes!

This past weekend, through our FIVE services, we saw FIFTY NINE PEOPLE acknowledge to us they accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and found new LIFE in Him.  IF ONLY FOR THE ONE!  We shattered any previous high attendance, holiday or non-holiday, than we’ve ever seen.

THANK YOU to the BEST volunteer leaders any church could ever ask for.  From the parking lot crew, to first impressions, guest services, ushers, tech team, hospitality, band, volunteer central, e:kidz, safety team and MORE you guys are the heart and soul of Element Church.  If you serve at Element Church, IT MATTERS what you do.  59 people found life in Christ, in part, to your serving them this past weekend.

THANK YOU to the BEST staff team on the planet.  From singing an original song to getting the Living Room and lobby all done/re-done for our guests, to pulling off an illustration using live fish in a fish tank, to loving on and caring for people.  You guys are the BEST!

THANK YOU to each person who chooses to call Element Church home!  Maybe you weren’t on the schedule this past Sunday to serve, maybe you weren’t even able to make it to church because you were out of town.  It doesn’t matter.  If you call Element Church HOME you’re a part of my family and you MATTER to do what we do!

THANK YOU to our God!  WOW!  Just in preparation for this last Sunday I was moved by the sheer ABSURDITY of what Christ did for us!  God became flesh and dwelt AMONG them.  Not only that He DIED for them…and then He rose from the dead!  I’m not sure words or illustrations with fish even come CLOSE to describing what we have in Christ and what He did for us!

Element Church, this last weekend was GREAT.  Right now, it goes down as the BIGGEST weekend in our church’s history.  BUT IT’S ONLY THE BEGINNING!  I believe the BEST is yet to come!  I believe there are MORE people to reach and BIGGER things to be done!  Let’s do this!

Till the end,

Jeff


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Categories : Element Church, Personal, Updates

“Jesus Is Proud Of Me”

15 03 2012

We were just ending our daddy daughter date this past Saturday, and those were the words that Jaydah, our 5 year old daughter, spoke to me as we were walking out to the car after stopping at Walmart.  So what was he proud about?  Jaydah had just asked Jesus into her heart.

Jaydah was born on December 23rd of 2006 but she was born AGAIN on March 9th, 2012.  Out of our 4 children, she has been the most spiritually minded, as far as bringing up spiritual things in normal conversation.  I’m not sure WHY that’s the case, but I do know that in the last 5 years Sabrina and I have become MUCH more intentional in that area with our children, understanding that WE are the primary disciplers of them, NOT the church.  In any case, she has been curious.

I told my wife a few days ago “I think Jaydah is getting really close to wanting to ask Jesus into her heart.”  We’ve never pressured our kids toward that decision.  We have instructed them in the Word but let the Holy Spirit guide them into those moments.  Recently Jaydah has been talking a LOT about how Jesus died for us,  how He died to forgive our sins and He forgives our sins when we ask him into our heart.  It’s been fun to watch.

Well, on our daddy daughter date, out of the blue, she brings it up again.  We were sitting at Guadalajara and she said “God protects us from evil.”  I said “You’re right Jaydah, he does.”  “Snakes are evil.” she said.  (LOL, I almost couldn’t contain myself) I just said “Yeah?”.  Then she went on, “Jesus died on the cross for our sins.”  I again asked her how He forgives our sins, and she answered very confidently “We ask Him into our heart.”  I said “Have you ever asked him into your heart?”  “No.” Was her response.  “Do you want to?”  “Yes.”  “When do you want to do that?”  Her answer cracked me up.  “In the car!”

So, sure enough, we got into the car after lunch, I turned around and said, “Do you still want to ask Jesus into your heart?”  She said “Yes”, and right there in the parking lot of Guadalajara, Jaydah asked Jesus into her heart.  I can tell you this…I LOVE seeing people come to know Jesus through Element Church but there is NOTHING like leading your own child to the Lord.

So back to Walmart.  I believe the Spirit was speaking to my daughter’s heart.  We’ve never used this language with our kids.  She said “Jesus is proud of me daddy.”  I said “He is, why?”  “Because I asked Him into my heart.”  I said “ABSOLUTELY, He’s proud of you Jaydah, and so am I!”

I just had to share,

Jeff


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Categories : Discipleship, Element Church, Family, kids, Personal

The Circle Maker

31 01 2012

Just recently I finished one of the BEST reads I have done in a while.  It’s the first book I chose to read in 2012, and MAN am I glad I read it.  The book is called  The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  The Circle Maker is a book all about prayer, and it’s based off the true legend of a man named Honi, who became known as “the circle maker”.  Honi was a Jewish sage whose bold prayer ended a drought and saved a generation.  It’s this inspiring story that Mark uses as a launching pad to challenge us to “pray circles” around things in our life.  This is not a “name it claim it” kind of book.  It’s a “Trust in the NAME of God” kind of book.  Mark not only talks about ANSWERED prayers, but UN-ANSWERED ones as well and how we walk through those seasons of silence.

The Circle Maker came at JUST the right time in my life.  I can honestly say, it is the most challenging yet encouraging book on prayer I’ve ever read.  Inspiring to say the least.  I would say that last year was the best year of prayer I’ve ever experienced.  I was more motivated and moved by God through prayer in 2011 than I ever have been, and The Circle Maker only fueled my fire for prayer.  I truly believe that prayer is the forgotten discipline in the church.  I’m convinced, if we fully understood the power that prayer has to connect us with the heart of God, it wouldn’t be just the thing we add before a meal, or the desperate plea for provision.  We’d be DEDICATED to seeking God daily in it.

Trying to capture the essence of The Circle Maker in one blog is impossible, but here is one statement from the 2nd chapter of the book that I think sums it all up:  “Bold prayers honor God, and God honors bold prayers.  God isn’t offended by your biggest dreams or boldest prayers.  he is offended by nothing less.”  WOW!  Makes me wonder about my own prayer life.  It inspired this statement in me “Our prayers should be so big we SHOULDN’T expect them to happen, but our GOD is so big we do.”  I want to pray those kinds of prayers.  Prayers that are generational.  Mark talks about that in the book.  That God is outside of time.  There are prayers He’s already answered 50 years from now, that we haven’t even PRAYED!  (That’ll blow your mind)  Makes me want to pray BIGGER prayers over my children, my grandchildren…OUR CHURCH!

From PRAYING through things and PRAISING through things (new concept for me).  From fasting to goal setting, Mark covers it all.  I was literally captured from the first sentence.  Rarely are there books that I can’t wait to pick up and continue reading…this was one!  All that to say, if you’re looking for a practical yet inspiring book on prayer, this is one I’d recommend.  I’ve started praying circles around things in my own life, in fact, I think it might have even inspired a whole sermon series I’m circling in prayer!

Praying Circles,

Jeff


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Categories : Books, Discipleship, Element Church, Personal

Dad Time

26 01 2012

One of the things Sabrina and I did this past year, was ask our kids what they needed from her and I.  Their answer?  (By the way, this did NOT come as a surprise)  MORE, one on one time with us.  Side Note:  Your kids may ask for more STUFF from you, but deep down they want more SEEKING from you!  SO, we scheduled in TIME and MONEY to do that.  Sabrina is an absolute NIGHT OWL and the kids asked if one of them could stay up late with her on Friday nights each week.  DONE!  We have numbered chore cards for the kids that rotate each week and whoever has the number 2 card gets to stay up late with mom.  Whoever has the number 1 card gets time out alone with me on a Saturday.  For the girls we call it “Daddy Daughter Dates”.  For Jonah “Dad time”.  I LOVE getting that intentional time with each of our kids, and THEY love it too.  They talk about their upcoming date WEEKS in advance.

Well, this past week was Jonah’s dad time, and over the course of the past couple months we had been working on writing a rap together.  Jonah is a NATURAL writer.  He LOVES writing songs, poems, or just journaling his thoughts.  After several cumulative hours of working on the rap (Jonah dreams of being a performer), it all came to fruition this past Saturday when we recorded it at Pastor Adam’s Triple Pane Studio.

So without further adieu, here is the OFFICIAL release of Good Times by Jonah Maness (Download lyrics HERE)


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Categories : Element Church, Family, kids, Personal

As Generous As A 7 Year Old

10 01 2012

If I were as generous as a SEVEN year old I’d make a much more SIGNIFICANT impact.

Generosity is not something many of us are natural at, but it IS something we are called, even COMMANDED to be.  Now, giving is a spiritual gift that I think many people have and if they have it, it is OBVIOUS by the way they live.  My daughter Makalah, has been given the gift of giving and generosity…and I LOVE it!

Makalah LIVES and LOVES to give.  Not many days go by without me receiving something from her that she has made or found.  When we were at Disney World this past month, she used some of the money WE had given her to use as SHE wished to buy a gift for her sister.  What seven year old does that? Makalah wants to go to the Childrens Hospital for Chrsitmas and buy gifts for the kids who are sick, instead of GETTING gifts for herself.  WHAT?  And this past week, she did something that again blew me away.

Each week, one of our children gets a daddy date with me.  (For Jonah we call it Father/Son hangout time.  His idea…and I’m cool with it. HA)  This last Thursday, Makalah had her date.  I LOVE taking my girls on dates and my son on some hangout time and they look forward to it every month.  Sabrina and I have budgeted money for each week so I can do that and the kids get to choose what we do, up to a specified dollar amount.  As soon as it was Makalah’s week I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said “I want our daddy/daughter date to go buy a gift for somebody.”  I told her “You understand that if you use your money to buy a gift, that’s what we’re doing for our date?”  She said, almost with a “DUH dad” kind of response.  “I know!”

So that’s what we did.  I came home from work, had dinner with the family and took my amazing daughter on a date.  I actually had a Starbucks giftcard that was given to me, so we used it to go sit down, have a donut and drink before she bought a gift for her mom.  We headed to Walmart, and I walked the aisles hand in hand with Makalah as she smiled from ear to ear, living out the LIFE of generosity.  She used every penny of her money to buy some things for her mom that SHE wanted to get her.  It was amazing.

We ended our date by going to the mall to check out the dogs in the pet store and see the guniea pigs, snakes and lizards.  (I like going down the snake aisle with her cause she holds my hand even tighter.  Daddy trick)  As we walked out of the mall and headed to the car, I unlocked her door and opened for her.  She looked up at me before she got in the car and said “This was the BEST daddy/daughter date EVER!”

God just spoke to my heart, and I thought “MAN…If I were as generous as a SEVEN year old I’d make a much more SIGNIFICANT impact.“  Makalah LOVES to give, and I LOVE affirming that gift in her.

Friends, we belong to a RADICALLY generous God, may we be RADICALLY generous people…like my seven year old.

Learning from my daughter,

Jeff


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Categories : Discipleship, Element Church, Family, Personal

Re-Post: Simple Works: Things I Learned On Vacation Pt.1

28 12 2011

Through January 1st of 2012 I’d like to “Re:Post” one blog a day from each month of 2011. Maybe it’s a highly viewed blog, a favorite of mine or one that impacted me the most. Enjoy this one from July:

“Churches could learn a lot from this!”  That’s what my wife said to me while standing in line at In & Out Burger in Las Vegas last week while we were on vacation.  Now I gotta admit, I usually have my church / leadership radar always on and am usually the one making church related comments when I’m supposed to be “unplugged” from church.  But this time she did.
It was getting close to midnight, we had rented a car and taken the whole day to drive down to the Grand Canyon.  We just pulled back into town and were craving what we HEARD was some of the best burgers on the planet.  We were tired and hungry when she said “Churches could learn a lot from this!”  I said “What?”  Her reply was “Simple works!”  I still wasn’t catching on so I asked “What do you mean?”  That’s when she pointed out the menu sign.
Now, I happened to be staring at it wondering how my cheeseburger would taste, and totally spaced the “simpleness” of the menu.  She said “They offer 4 things.  Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Fries and a drink.  Simple works!”  Much to my surprise she then continued “If someone wants a chicken sandwhich, chicken nuggets, a salad, yogurt parfait, or whatever…’I'm sorry we have hamburgers, cheeseburgers and french fries.’”  AND IT WORKS!  In & Out is one of the most popular burger joints in America.
(Interesting enough I found out while we were there that they have an “insiders” menu.  It’s called the “not so secret menu”.  If you are an In & Out aficionado you know they offer a few other things.  Such as Animal Fries, which looked DELICIOUS.  Also double or triple meat burgers.  But STILL, hamburger, cheeseburger, fries and drinks.  THAT’S IT)
We have a similar philosophy at Element Church.  We are NOT going to do all things for all people.  We are going to choose to do a few things with excellence instead of many things very average.  In fact, when a church, restaurant, business or organization tries to do all things for all people they usually end up doing nothing very well.
At Element Church we do four things.  Worship experience, student ministries, community (groups), and outreach.  We say YES to those things and NO to everything else.  Let me make clear, this is not THE way to do ministry, but it is THE way we do it.  We don’t have the ONLY way to do church, but this is the ONLY way we do it.
Keepin’ it simple,
Jeff

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Categories : Element Church, Leadership, Personal

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